If your self-awareness comes naturally, you're doing it wrong

In a previous blog post, I wrote about how I learned to be a more humble person and professional, and why it’s my most important value.

What I feel compelled to expand on is how difficult yet essential the journey was for me to understanding and practicing humility. There’s a secondary purpose to sharing this with you, too, which is to put some words around the ways in which self-awareness influences how we work and succeed.

First off, self-awareness shouldn’t come naturally. Mindfulness is a practice, not a privilege we’re born with (if you think it is, you’re doing it wrong).

Secondly …

What does self-awareness have to do with content experience?

A lot.

When it comes to my personal relationships or how I conduct myself in front of colleagues and clients, I really try hard to stay aware of my actions, reactions, comments and opinions, primarily because I get better answers and solutions when I’m not in the “What’s in it for me?” mindset. This ultimately makes me better at serving my clients with excellent content experiences.

I believe staying self-aware improves the ability to:

• Listen to clients’ needs and understand their concerns

• See a problem (and its solution) from many angles

• Approach writing as a vehicle for conversation and engagement, not a place to argue, blame or judge

• Correct inconsistencies, errors or marker moments that just aren’t seeing results

• Stay humble when faced with complex challenges

Self-awareness is a process you should never outgrow, a practice that doesn’t have an ending but has many points of entry.

For me, the best way to tell if I’m being unaware of my actions and behaviors is to look at what I’m not doing, rather than what I am. Am I not listening? Am I not accepting someone’s decision? Am I just being a jerk?

How to tell if you need to be more aware of yourself

You don’t listen.

I know what you’re thinking … “But I’m a great listener!”

Now ask yourself this: Have you ever been in a conversation when you just could not wait until it was your time to talk? Whether you’re at the water cooler discussing last weekend’s big game or you’re in a collaborative meeting with colleagues, we’ve all interrupted the flow of conversation to assert an opinion or insight, especially when we’re very passionate about the topic at hand.

Hint: When someone is not listening, she will appear agitated and in a hurry. When someone is truly listening, she slows down, asks questions and summarizes conversations.

You’re always right.

If you find yourself saying things like, “We tried that already,” or “Been there, done that,” chances are you already believe you have the best solution to a problem and are unwilling to budge your stance.

I once had a coworker who would practically froth at the mouth if someone had an insight or solution that didn’t align with her own. Not only is this toxic behavior, but it’s incredibly unproductive and a sign that self-awareness isn’t on the agenda.

Bottom line: it feels good to be right, but nobody is correct all of the time.

You are constantly asking, ‘How will I benefit?’ rather than ‘How will we benefit?’

If you’re the “what’s in it for me?” type (and we all are at times), try and get your self-awareness in check so you align better with others in situations when there may be discord.

One of the best ways to become more self-aware in a situation at work (or home) is to make a list of ways something is benefiting you versus ways it’s benefiting the collective whole. If the former is longer than the latter, it’s a good indication you’re not taking others into consideration as much as you should be.

What you can do now to become more self-aware

There are pages of search results for practicing self-awareness and I encourage you to read as much as you can about it. If you’re super into this post or just want to scan my thoughts on the topic, well then … here’s what I’ve found particularly helpful in my own experiences that have helped me become a more mindful person and better writer.

• Share how a circumstance, issue or problem relate to one another

• Recognize and take note of where you may differ in approaches or opinions

• Talk about how your approaches or opinions differ and why

• Acknowledge there are several solutions to a problem and yours isn’t always right

• Ask questions

• Don’t offer solutions or opinions until you have all the facts in line

• Don’t assume anything

How do you stay self-aware?

As mentioned, there are thousands of articles, blogs, vlogs, memes, gifs, slideshares and slideshows that explore ways self-awareness can make you a better person and coworker. While much of my tips here were borne from my own pitfalls, weaknesses and ego-driven decisions, I’m always looking to others for their insights on the topic. Join in on the convo in the comments section or email me with your POV!